First Draft

Another fond memory of my family is when we’d clean or just hang out, sometimes, we’d burst out singing the Always Coca Cola commercial. I have 7 sisters and 5 brothers and at one point we were all squished under one roof and there was always that Coca Cola song stuck in someones head and you could hear them whistling or humming it. Walking by, one of us would hear it and started singing it too, then we’d sing as loud as we could from the room we were in, competing to be the loudest.

Revision

Another fond memory of my family is when we were all cleaning or lounging around the house, you could hear the faint whistle or hum of the "Always Coca Cola" song. With seven sisters and five brothers, all squished under one roof, it wasn't hard for one of the twelve of us to hear it walking by. Like a contagious yawn, it would get stuck in their head and it didn't take long for it to catch on. Soon enough we were all singing it from the top of our lungs, competing to be the loudest.